what's so awful about keeping your (supposedly) ugly face?
My mom fell asleep watching some Korean variety show featuring (girl) foreigners and asking them funny questions to find out what kind of experiences they had while adjusting to Korea. Like getting used to the fact that not wearing a slip under a dress is a really, really skanky thing to do. And how we love to exfoliate with a rough green towel-glove (y'all Koreans know what I'm talking about!) everyday until we're pink and bleeding. American exfoliating rituals are pretty lame. Sugar scrubs? Bish plz, we use industrial grade sandpaper on our faces.
Oh yeah, and while I was watching this, I realized very quickly that all the panelists on this show were freaking gorgeous. Like not even just exotic, they-looked-so-different gorgeous but they had faces molded from the golden ratio. I don't think it was a coincidence that they were all like the prettiest immigrants living in Korea from Russia, Canada, UK, France, Egypt, Japan, China, etc. It's like they had a cattle call for ANTM: Seoul Cycle.
Asia's obsession with beauty and youth kind of grosses me out sometimes. Yes, here in the US, we have Botox and vaginoplasty and impossible beauty standards too, but at least we have the hardcore feminists with armpit hair to bring us back to earth again. Hello?! It's okay to look 40 when you're actually 40. Women shouldn't be forced to give up their careers and sense of self for the children or husbands (unless she makes that choice herself). In Korea, people kind of ignore you for jobs until you get another kind of a "job," if ya know what I mean.
And what's so weird about all of this is that Koreans aren't supermodel hotties that the images that Korean movies and soap operas project.
I really hate that plastic surgery is so prevalent there. They get eye jobs for graduation presents instead of getting a used car (well, in their defense, getting a car at that age is really useless with the widespread use of public transportation). I hate the stigma attached to having coin slots for eyes, because I have them and I can tell you myself that they're not that bad. Sure, I got made fun of them in elementary school, but they're stuck in Arkansas with two kids and a dead-end job so I win this round.
When I went to visit Korea in 8th grade, my grandma insisted that I get the eye surgery, because I'll heal really quickly since it's a quick procedure. No biggie--I'll be on the plane back to Texas with minimal bruising for sure. But I didn't get it done because, even at such an easily-influenced age, getting the surgery done meant that I was ashamed of them.
I think the same way for my boobs. Yeah, they're A's, and no, they haven't really grown since my middle school graduation (yeah, shut up; they have them), but that's what I'm stuck with. I think I've grown to like them as I get older. I didn't know that boobs were supposed to do this, but they kind of hang lower than when I first discovered them in the 6th grade. And it looks nice in bathing suits. Hopefully, they won't be a-swingin' by the time I'm done breastfeeding my hypothetical third child since they were the width and height of a cookie to begin with.
So when I go back to my homeland, my relatives always comment on my self-confidence and me being unapologetic for my slitty eyes. They say that I have "charisma," which is a Konglish word (Korean-English) for GIRL WITH A GREAT PERSONALITY.
But anyway, stepping off from my Girl Power soapbox, I guess I see why they chose pretty foreigners for the TV special. Pretty girls have the appeal for boys and girls while hot dudes only have girls watching them. No guy wants to watch a sausagefest on his own, especially if it doesn't have something to do with football (I know that A is just DYING because of the lack of developing football news for every hour). All of the girls had such ADORABLE accents. I think it's cuter, because anyone who tries to speak Korean but butchers it anyway is still so dern cute in my eyes... I wanted to go up to them and shuffle my feet and ask what their lunch plans were for tomorrow.
